Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Obamas

The Obamas...that is..Michelle and Barack Obama..what a beautiful sight they are, no? You can see the love in their eyes whenever their eyes meet, whenever Michelle sets her eyes on that handsome man known as her husband as he addresses his country, whenever he casts his eyes on her during interviews..they are in love! You would have to live under a rock to be oblivious to this fact. As cliche as it sounds. Today a historic event took place..the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States of America..oh and he just happens to be black! Yep I SAIIDD IT!

This however is not the point of my post. Today and for a long many years before, black women have pondered the idea of it attainable, where do I find it, is it for me?! We are constantly the victims of sexual assault, rape and the lack of information...we are often ignorant to many situations..we are emotionally vulnerable. This is not to discourage or exploit the experiences of black women, it is only to educate and provide support. This notwithstanding, with all this against us, it is often difficult to pursue healthy relationships. I have provided the example of Michelle Obama and her husband Barack as hope that it is possible and can be achieved by us all if we so want it.

Love is not for everyone...a monogamous relationship is not desirable nor possible for every human being, and that's alright. What's not alright is acting like it's for you when you a) Know that it's not or b)Are just not ready for all that committment. The first thing to a successful anything be that career, relationship, etc, is being honest with yourself. If you can not do this, you can neither expect it from someone else nor expect longevity. A lie only begets another lie..and lying with yourself will only endure for so long. You need to get to a place where you love yourself first and foremost and then only after will you be able to love someone else. Don't go out dating, thinking that every dude you meet is going to lead to "the one". Where in life does it say that you need to marry and settle down right away? When did this become some type of race? When you rush something, you make mistakes. Take your time..there's nothing wrong with taking things slow. Love is not an emotion you're going to feel on's something you build up to and then later build upon.

Another thing ladies, take outside of your "type". Keep an open mind and be free to experience new things. Don't be freaked out by the fine gentleman you met at Starbucks that wants to take you rock climbing on the first what it's not your usual dinner and a movie, you never know, it could lead to something special. When you only date a "type" you cut out all the possibilities to love that could be awaiting you. It's good to know what you want, but if what you want has not worked for you thus far, then it's time to try a new strategy. All I'm saying ladies, is- keep your options open! Don't go looking for love, it will find you..when the circumstances permit and when the time is right...and for others it just randomly gets bestowed upon you. Love is an amazing feeling to feel, when its right and when you have someone who loves you back. It's out there if you want it...just free up your self.

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